Do What You Love
by Crazy Kawaii
Summary: Blinded by his addiction, he cannot see that she’s slowly fading away. What’s more important? The dying love of his life...  or drugs?
1. Chapter 1

**Do What You Love**

**Summary:** Blinded by his addiction, he cannot see that she's slowly fading away. What's more important? The love of his life who's dying, or his addiction?

**Author's Note:** This is a bit angst-y, but NOT emo. No emo!

* * *

"…_When you go,  
Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay  
And maybe when you get back  
I'll be off to find another way…_"

-I Don't Love You, My Chemical Romance

* * *

"We need to talk." She said sadly, her eyes fixated on her feet as she walked. 

He sighed in annoyance. Another lecture…

Sakura Kinomoto and Syaoran Li. Seniors in high school. Been together for a year now. Been friends since grade school.

He knew this was coming. She was finally going to do it. She was going to end it, like she threatened to do for months now.

"Alright!" Syaoran exclaimed, whirling around and stopping in front of her. "Talk to me. What is it this time?"

Her lips trembled and she looked away. She always did this.

Syaoran suffered from a mild drug addiction. A few months back, he was arrested for it. She was so upset. Ever since his arrest, it was obvious that Sakura was stressed about it. She began losing weight. He promised her that he would not do it again.

"Let's go somewhere a little more private, yeah?" She asked softly.

But he did. He did it all the time. She knew. She told him if he did, it would be the end of the relationship. Everyone gave him a hard time about it, and certainly his girlfriend should be a little more supportive.

Syaoran rolled his eyes. "Where we are is fine."

They were walking on a public sidewalk. No one was there, it was just him and her. The sky was gray and red and orange leaves littered the ground. Night was approaching.

"It's kind of important-"

"If it's that important, it doesn't matter where you tell me!" He interrupted.

She was going to do it. She was going to break up with him. She had been acting oddly for some time now, and he figured out why.

Sometimes, she wouldn't talk to Syaoran. She would just sit quietly and stare. He would try to kiss her and she would do nothing, just bury her face in his chest and embrace. Whenever he wanted to be with her, she would tell him she had to go to the doctor or some sort of bullshit. That excuse worked the first time, but not the ten or eleven times after.

"I know what your going to say." Syaoran said angrily. "So I'll just say it for you."

Sakura stared at Syaoran blankly.

"Yeah, I know I broke my promise." He started. "But you know what? I don't care. It's not bad anyway, and I don't know why you can't see that. You used to do it."

Her lips parted slightly as she listened to what he was telling her.

"What?" She whispered.

"Yeah." He struggled for words, not really knowing where he was going with his speech. "I don't know why you get so upset when I do it when you used to do it all the time."

He was exaggerating. In fact, he could not recall her ever doing it.

"Syaoran, I'm concerned about you, that's why I want you to stop. But that's not what I wanted to say-"

"Concerned? Sakura, I'm fine! I'll be fine!" He erupted. "Why do you do this to me? I know a ton of girls who would gladly accept me the way I am. Why are you trying to change me?"

Sakura's eyes widened. She looked him directly in the eyes. "What… What are you-"

"Alright Sakura." He would end it for her. "You know what? I broke my promise. I'm stupid. You could do better. You should see other guys and forget about me. You won't be so stressed and wouldn't have to go to the doctor all the time." He hissed.

"What?" Sakura repeated. Tears threatened to spill down her pale face.

"It's over, Sakura. It's for the best. And I'll find someone who won't bitch about what I do all the time and appreciate me for who I am. You don't need me and I really don't need you." He glared and turned to walk away.

"Syaoran!" She grabbed his arm and turned him to face her.

She was crying. "Is that what you want?"

He stared, emotionless. "Yeah."

"You… you don't care about…"

"No, Sakura… I don't." He interrupted.

"Syaoran," Tears were dripping off her face.

"What?" He ripped away from her gasp.

"I'm sick." She choked.

"You're always sick." He said, not wanting to stay.

"No…"

"Forget it, Sakura." He turned and started to walk away.

"Syaoran!" She called.

He whirled around, a good distance separated them. Her baggy sweater concealed most of her hands and her skirt hung awkwardly off her hips. She was pale. She was thin. She did look sick.

"What!" He exclaimed, frustrated. He needed a hit so badly.

"I went to the doctor so they could find out what was wrong with me. It took a while, but they figure it out."

She wiped her face with her sweater.

"I'm dying."

Dying?

"I'm not going to be around for too long. That's what I wanted to say. That is all I wanted to say. I'm sorry I wanted to change you, for wanting the best for you. I didn't realize that I was getting in the way of what you love."

Syaoran was frozen.

"I love you." She said. "I only want what's best for you. If you want to go out with someone who doesn't care, fine. Do what makes you happy."

She stepped away. "And you know what?"

She took another step back. Syaoran could not move.

"I'll be happy knowing that you are happy."

She waited for a response. After a moment of silence, she gave up. She let out a small sob and turned. He gazed at her as she walked away, her head down and arms folded across her chest, slowly becoming smaller and smaller with each step she took.

Before he knew it, she was gone.

He took a breath. He was shaking.

Darkness consumed the sky and a cold breeze swirled around Syaoran.

_"What have I done?"_

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AN: Review please! 


	2. Chapter 2

**Do What You Love **

**Author's Note:** The last chapter kinda sucked. It lacked… emotion. I read it and I was like… huh. One day I'll revise it. Until then, here's chapter TWO!

* * *

"Now that it's raining more than ever,  
Know that we'll still have each other,  
You can stand under my umbrella,  
You can stand under my umbrella…"

Umbrella- Rhianna

* * *

_It was a rainy winter afternoon. The sun was hidden behind a blanket of gray clouds, chilling the air and everything it touched. Water dripped from the sky like a broken showerhead., and little girl sat underneath it all, soaked to the bone and miserable. Her head was lowered, her shoulders shook and tears added to the cold drops of rain that covered her. She was crying. _

"Eh!" A voice called. The girl ignored it, held within her own desolation.

The source of the voice grew closer. "Hey!"

Once again, it was ignored by the little girl.

"Hey, you crazy! What are you doing?"

The girl finally peered at the speaker. It was a little boy. He stood besides her, wearing a black raincoat and black rain boots, complete with a black umbrella.

"Wha?" was her response.

"What are you doing? You're gonna get sick!" The little boy warned her. "Then you're gonna get in trouble for not being warm, and my okaa-san is gonna yell at you like she yelled at me!"

"I'm gonna get in trouble no matter if I'm warm or cold!" The girl responded, tears dripping from her cheeks.

The little boy's eyes grew wide with realization. "Why are you crying?"

She sniffed and wiped her face off with the wet sleeve of her shirt. "I lost my okaa-san's necklace."

"Oh!" The boy peeped. "So now your okaa-san and my okaa-san is gonna yell at you!"

The girl frowned. "My okaa-san is in heaven… but my outo-san will be very angry!"

The thought made the little girl cry harder.

"Don't be sad!" The little boy said. He paused, thinking of a solution to the problem. "I know! I'll help you look for your necklace."

The little girl looked up at him and sniffed. "Really?"

"Really." The little boy said. He held out his hand. "Come on!"

The little girl smiled and reached for his hand. He grabbed her hand and pulled her up.

"Oh my goodness, you are soaked!" The little boy exclaimed. "Here, stand under my umbrella!"

The two children huddled underneath the black umbrella. "You want my raincoat?" The boy asked.

The girl shivered as she realized how cold she was. "Uh-"

"Here." He took off his coat and handed it to her.

The little girl stared at the little boy, eyes shining with appreciation. "Thank you so much!"

He smiled. "Let's go look for your necklace!"

"Wait!" The girl said. "What's your name?"

The boy straightened his posture. "Li! Li Syaoran. You can call me Syaoran. My okaa-san calls me Syao-pin!"

The girl smiled. "I'm Kinomoto Sakura."

"Alright Kinomoto Sakura, are you ready?" Li Syaoran asked.

Kinomoto Sakura nodded.

"Okay." Syaoran said. "Let's go find your necklace before my okaa-san yells at me and your outo-san gets angry!"

"Okay!" Sakura said.

Huddle close under the black umbrella, the two walked along the sidewalk, searching for the missing necklace. Rain poured on either side of the children., but they didn't care. They were protected and warm, and that was all they cared about.

* * *

Sakura stepped into her room and set her keys on a nearby desk. She dropped on the rest of her things on the floor, flopped on her bed, then erupted in sobs.

The day's event were nothing of what she expected.

"_I'll find someone who won't bitch about what I do all the time and appreciate me for who I am._" His voice echoed in her head.

Sakura tried to stop thinking about it, but it was impossible. Did he really think she "bitched" about his habits? She was concerned! Was it bad to care, to want the very best for the person you adore?

She didn't think so.

To add to her misery, he mentioned that he wanted someone else. A person who would take her place. A person who would appreciate him more than she did.

Sakura didn't think such a person existed.

Her lips quivered and tears spilled from her eyes. She took a deep breath and tried to think positively. Stress was her worst enemy.

Setting her mind with utter optimism, Sakura thought of the dismal event in the most favorable light.

When she planned the "talk" with Syaoran, she planned on telling him about her condition and everything her doctors had told her, along with everything she had been through. Sakura had little more than three months to live before the disease would take over her mind, less if she did not stay in a positive mindset.

Her biggest fear was that he would be devastated by the news. Fortunately for him, yet unfortunately for her, he decided to end their relationship. He probably wouldn't care, say, when she died in a couple months, and he wouldn't be upset. The thought of him upset crushed her heart and made her dizzy.

And a happy Syaoran called for a happy Sakura.

"That's terrible!" Sakura thought aloud and sat up, teardrops still streaming down her face.

She gazed around her bedroom. The walls were recently painted light brown, accented with a white molding. The color, which was formerly pink, gave the room a comforting and dignified feel. Syaoran helped her paint the room.

Sakura's heart sank. The memories were too much.

She took a deep breath. Too add to her misery, they were many framed pictures of Syaoran on the walls. Each one held their own story, and held more pain and sadness which Sakura could not bare.

She took another deep breath.

Out of the corner of her eye, she spotted her all-time-favorite picture. She got off her bed and walked over to it.

It was of her and Syaoran when she was six and he was seven. The day they met.

Syaoran's mother was suppose to pick him up from school, but she came late that day. When she arrived, she found her son, without a raincoat and huddled next to Sakura. According to Li-san, the site was absolutely adorable. She decided to take a picture.

A few minutes after, Sakura found the necklace in her pant pocket. That happened a little more than a decade ago.

"_You don't need me and I really don't need you._" His voice rang in her mind.

Sakura was drowning in her own sorrow. He didn't need her, but she certainly needed him.

"I think I care too much." Sakura confirmed.

Before she could evaluate his words, an alarm rang.

It was time for Sakura to take her medicine.

Sakura sighed at the thought of her own demise and walked out of her room. When she shut her door, she could not hear her phone ring as Syaoran tried to contact her.

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AN: Review please! 


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